An exhilarating experience

,

When I remember the birth of my first child, I get truly euphoric. I see the cosy birthing room, me in the bathtub, my husband on the edge of the bath, my midwives Gesche and Sabine, the midwifery student Ylva, an atmosphere of calm, concentration and joy. The experience fills me with strength and wonder and I would like to shout it to the world: it was an exhilarating experience! I want another child so that I can experience this magical moment of birth again.

I remember a quiet Sunday morning when I was woken up by contractions. I felt calm and incredibly curious. My actual midwife was Vanessa, but Gesche was assigned that weekend. I had met Gesche beforehand and the chemistry was right. After a romantic morning cuddle with my partner and a warm shower, the contractions came very regularly. I rang Gesche. She was bubbling over with good humour and told me to keep her up to date. I had to breathe out the contractions on all fours pretty quickly. So we met at the birth centre at midday. Gesche’s smile lit up. I experienced her as energetic and calm at the same time: meditative and athletic. All events were announced to me in advance and everything was done in such a way that it was as comfortable and pleasant as possible for me. Her announcements were precise. I was asked if the midwifery student Ylva, who I already knew from antenatal check-ups, could be there. I gladly agreed. She became our photographer.

I was suddenly desperate to get into the bath, which was prepared straight away. From then on, my husband was a rock. Gesche regularly listened to the heartbeat under water after a contraction, which was very straightforward. “The child is doing great, a sporty chap!” She commented quietly. In some contractions she held my hand. Apart from that, I only remember her praising us as a couple for how well we were doing. When I looked over the side of the pool, I looked into the face of the student midwife, who just smiled at us the whole time. That was incredibly motivating and gave me strength. I found it incredibly exhausting at times, but I felt totally safe. I could feel my baby’s movements and was completely focused on the contractions. I was completely on my own and everyone was sympathetic to me and the baby. I went through each contraction with long low tones, I remember how the sound swelled in the edge of the bathtub. Sound, labour pain and water combined to form a vibration, and then I floated very lightly on the breaks in between. Most of the time I lay bent forward on a nursing cushion on the edge of the bathtub.

Towards the end, my husband held me and I hung between his knees. Gesche encouraged me to feel for the baby. It was incredible to feel the head slowly push forward during a contraction. I remember the incredible moment when the head appeared between the legs. With the next labour, the baby was out. I couldn’t believe it yet when I already had it on my chest, Gesche had fished it out of the water in a flash. What had previously seemed like an insurmountable mountain had suddenly disappeared. My tiredness had vanished. Oh, was I overwhelmed by the force of nature in my body. I had made it. I had given birth to my child!

And I had the feeling that my midwives shared my happiness. My second midwife Sabine was discreetly in the background the whole time. I only discovered her later in the photos, I didn’t notice her during or after the birth. Together, the midwives helped me and the baby out of the bath, dried me off and accompanied me to the bed. The baby screamed and screamed. Ylva helped with breastfeeding. The afterbirth was uncomplicated. There was only a slight birth injury. Dad was allowed to cut the pulsating umbilical cord. As a new family, we lay in bed together for 1-2 hours. The midwives checked on us from time to time. Then they warmed up the soup we had brought with us and while I was fortifying myself, the U1 examination took place on the changing table next to me. Dad was allowed to dress the baby. Ylva helped me get up and get dressed. It had become evening. 3 hours after the birth we hugged each other warmly and the three of us got into the taxi and drove home.

S.

Universal love

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I don’t remember having experienced such an intense moment in my life. Of trust and surrender. Perhaps in my own birth! A moment to let myself be fully carried by the wisdom of my body, by the love of my partner and of these wise women who prepared the space to contain, to guide, to embrace.
Especially valuable in a society and in times where connection with nature, with true listening to what the moment is saying, is no longer so easy to find. A society based on numbers, statistics and studies, forgetting intuition, experience and wisdom and the ability through them to see things that machines have not achieved. A society where pain is not accepted and in order not to feel we are offered anaesthetics, the woman considered as weak, the arrival date too spontaneous for our calendars.
In this oasis called Maja fear is accepted, it does not need to be denied. By being able to let it out, one is not paralysed by its presence, but can concentrate on the essential. Accepting the surprise moment by moment, to meet again what we will never cease to be.
A space where we feel cared for, respected and loved. A love that can only be felt when the other has understood that we are all one, that there is no my baby or your baby, but that the love that one feels from one’s own centre expands in all dimensions, caressing everyone equally.

Wise beings.

Gesche transmits peace, connection and a lot of love. The wisdom of her hands, the experience of her senses, the knowledge of her studies fused with the experience of her life. From the first moment one notices something different in her presence, one notices the vibration of a being who dedicates her days to being reborn. What a woman! Here I am at a loss for words, it is a feeling that my soul remains in eternal gratitude and connection with her.
Susanne’s appearance in the last stages of labour was like the arrival of an angel. Without knowing each other, other than having passed each other in the corridors, she was there, full of love, putting me on the spot, reminding me of the good work I was doing, reminding me to breathe! What a beauty it was to cross this woman for 3 hours in my life, I will never forget her!
Sabrina was with us during the whole postnatal period. So much attention! Full of patience, after long days of work, she was always present with a smile from ear to ear, a very warm heart.

Thank you for being part of this, thank you for dedicating your life to give these babies and their families the most beautiful welcomes we could imagine. you will carry it with you all the way.


AMOR UNIVERSAL

No recuerdo haber vivido un momento tan intenso en mi vida. De confianza y entrega. Quizas en mi propio nacimiento! Un momento para dejarme llevar plenamente por la sabiduría de mi cuerpo, por el amor de mi compañero y de esta sabias mujeres que prepararon el espacio para contener, para guiar, para abrazar.
Especialmente valioso en una sociedad y en tiempos donde la conexión con la naturaleza, con la escucha verdadera a lo que el momento esta diciendo, ya no es tan fácil de encontrar. Una sociedad basada en números, estadísticas y estudios, olvidando a la intuición, la experiencia y la sabiduría y la capacidad a través de ellas de ver cosas que las maquinas no han logrado. Una sociedad donde el dolor no esta aceptado y para no sentir nos ofrecen las anestecias, la mujer considerada como debil, la fecha de llegada demasiado espontánea para nuestros calendarios.
En este oasis llamado Maja el miedo esta aceptado, no necesita ser negado. Al poder dejarlo salir uno no queda paralizado ante su presencia, sino que puede concentrarse en lo esencial. Aceptando la sorpresa momento a momento, volver a encontrarnos con lo que nunca dejaremos de ser.
Un espacio donde nos sentimos cuidados, respetados y amados. Un amor que solo se siente cuando el otro ha entendido que todos somos uno, que no hay mi bebe o tu bebe, sino que el amor que uno siente desde su propio centro se expande en todas las dimensiones, acariciando a todos por igual.

Seres sabios.

Gesche nos transmite paz, conexión y mucho amor. La sabiduría de sus manos, la experiencia de sus sentidos, el saber de sus estudios fundido con la experiencia de su vida. Desde el primer momento uno nota algo distinto en su presencia, uno nota la vibración de un ser que dedica sus días a re-nacer. Que mujer! Aquí si que se me quedan muy cortas las palabras, es una sensación de que mi alma se quedo en eterna gratitud y conexión con ella.
La aparición de Susanne en las ultimas etapas del parto fue como la llegada de un ángel. Sin conocernos, mas que habernos cruzado alguna vez en los pasillos, estaba ella ahí presente llena de amor, poniéndome trapitos en la sien, recordandome el buen trabajo que estaba haciendo, recordándome de respirar! Que belleza fue cruzar a esta mujer por 3 horas en mi vida, no voy a olvidarla jamas!
Sabrina nos acompaño durante todo el puerperio. Cuanta atención! Llena de paciencia, luego de jornadas largas de trabajo, siempre estuvo presente con la sonrisa de oreja a oreja, un corazón muy cálido.

Gracias por ser parte de esto, gracias por dedicar la vida a darles a estos bebes y a sus familias las bienvenidas mas hermosas que podríamos imaginar. lo llevaran consigo por todo el camino

N.

Joy of birth

On 18 October 2019, our daughter Edna Sol was born at home in our flat. Our birth experience together was our first big task and challenge as a team. My partner Alex was and is a firm and important support for me before, during and after the birth. Edna is relaxed, full of life and naturally beautiful. Edna’s birthday was a celebration for me and for all the other people who were lucky enough to be there. My positive attitude towards birth, which I adopted during my preparation for this moment, was certainly one of the reasons why I was able to give birth in a powerful and self-determined way. It is for this reason that I am keen to write down and share my birth story to encourage other women to organise the birth of their child or children exactly as they wish.

A beautiful birth is not rocket science

– but rather a balance of security, trust, courage, dealing with fears, weakness, loss of control, devotion and a large portion of joy of birth!

5 days before the birth, my partner Alex and I slept together. Sexuality was very important during our pregnancy too. As my body and my hormone balance changed a lot during the nine months of pregnancy, it wasn’t always easy for me to feel and allow my desire. But for the most part, we managed to recognise and respect each other’s needs. Making love, cuddling and caressing even became a very valuable part of the pregnancy and I often had the feeling of actively preparing for labour.

Allowing pleasure, relinquishing control, blossoming, exploding, feeling, loving…

The last time we had sex before Edna was born was very intense. I had two wonderful orgasms and I,

high on oxytocin,

went to the park with our dog. However, my tummy felt funny and I had to walk very, very slowly. My uterus contracted at regular intervals. I vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom. The urge to clean and tidy was very strong. So the loving sex triggered the first contractions.

I felt different in the following 5 days. My uterus practised contracting diligently. Is it starting now? What is happening in my body? What if I’m wrong and this state continues for 3 weeks or longer? Can I really manage this? …. But despite some doubts (especially at night…), I never lost my courage and my anticipation of the birth and of our child.

The evening before the birth, I had a date with my punk band. We cooked together and spent the evening together. The food was delicious and the time went by quickly, but my stomach hurt so strangely. Had I perhaps eaten too many crisps? Did the Indonesian food not agree with me? It was already 11pm and I decided to take a taxi home. Somehow I didn’t feel so good….

On the way back in the taxi, I spoke to the driver about the pregnancy. The conversation with his old wisdom à la – it will definitely be a boy, because…. – annoyed me.

I was very happy when small talk was over and I was finally home.

I wasn’t in a particularly good mood, I wanted to lie down but couldn’t find a comfortable position and I was also rather bitchy with Alex. He wasn’t even allowed to rub my tummy with oil…. A ritual that actually had its fixed place every evening before going to sleep.

I couldn’t really sleep well. I tossed and turned and was dead tired. When I finally got up because I couldn’t lie down any more, it was already 4..30 am. Then I floated around the living room with my big exercise ball. I rolled up and down on the floor, started my breathing techniques – inhale, count and exhale twice as long – and then I realised:

It’s starting now.

I wanted to go to the loo, had the feeling that my stool was too hard and so I decided to wake Alex up at around 5.30am and ask him how I could give myself an enema. He woke up, rubbing his eyes. “”Is it happening now?” I nodded. Then he said: “Give me five minutes, I’ll make myself a coffee and then I’ll be there for you!”

So I was busy giving myself an enema while Alex was running a bath. The contractions were already coming quite frequently and yet I was still hesitant. Was it really going to start? Somehow I was afraid of being wrong. I was also a little afraid of the challenge that lay ahead of me. I felt that I was the direct link to my child and therefore had a huge responsibility. The other people I had chosen to be present at the birth could support me, but I was the one who would soon be giving birth. That was somehow

a sacred and powerful feeling.

Alex and I enjoyed a cosy bath together. The distance between the contractions continued to decrease in the bath and we did get a little excited and nervous. Our mood was good and very positive. Alex transformed the living room into a cosy birthing cave with blankets, mats, a mattress, sheets, pads, candles and lots of love.

After the bath, my good friend Fee arrived, who I had asked to be my doula during the birth because I felt safe and in good hands in her presence. She radiates calm and I trust her. Fee and Alex accompanied me into the living room and supported me with the contractions. The candlelight, my own labour playlist with lots of songs by strong female energies and the dim light made me feel very comfortable.

Fee ate some muesli. I didn’t.

I was no longer hungry. The distance between contractions became shorter and I would lie on the floor under a blanket with a hot water bottle on my feet during the breaks. When I felt a contraction coming, I would get down on my knees and lean on the ball, breathe and moan or tone. That worked quite well for a while. Suddenly I noticed how

a lot of mucus flowed from my vulva.

The mucus plug had come loose. And together with Fee, I went to the loo and enthusiastically pulled out more and more mucus. Grandma’s alarm clock rang at 10 o’clock. The alarm clock doesn’t actually work any more and therefore only rings at random. But I don’t believe in coincidences, I believe in fate… So the ringing was a wonderful signal for me. My grandma, who passed away 2 years ago, was also there and would support me and my child during the birth! And then suddenly, during the peak of a contraction, I had the feeling that my pelvis had broken apart… I heard the rupture and it scared me immensely. I then shouted very loudly: “Something has just happened.

Something has just broken inside me!”

Fee then asked if it was wet between my legs and it really was. “Then it must have been the waters,” she said. We put a towel between my thighs. Shortly afterwards, the urge to push started. It was a crazy feeling and I couldn’t do anything about it. Finally the doorbell rang and my midwife Peter arrived with the student midwife Alena. Peter took off his clothes and quickly came to me on the mat. He put his hands on my back and thighs and said to me clearly: “I’m here – you can get started!” Those were wonderful words that gave me a lot of confidence. I was in a trance. Vanessa, the second midwife, also came into our cosy, warm birthing room. Everyone was there. Everything was ready. I felt well supported and strong. Peter offered me the chance to try out the all-fours position. I was sceptical at first and wanted to hold on to my tried and tested position lying on my left side. But I had confidence and so I tried out the new position. I even found it very comfortable. I was able to hold on to Alex or Fee at the front, push along at the back and, above all, see what was happening with my own eyes. I could also feel Edna pushing against the top of my uterus from the inside. That was a really funny feeling! During the contractions and this extreme pressure, I thought a lot about my grandma –

she was my power animal

and gave me courage and confidence. It felt fascinating how Edna’s head was pushed down a little with each contraction and then slid back again. “2 cm forwards and 1 cm back again – this protects the tissue,” Peter explained. That’s why he pressed a warm cloth against my perineum. I inserted two fingers. What I felt was hard and had folded skin on top. It was probably a piece of the back of her head. That was cool and very motivating! And I tapped her on the head and then told her: “Hey you – you can come out”. That was a great moment. Shortly afterwards, I could already see a piece of the head in the shape of an ellipse. Peter urged me not to press with the next wave to protect the tissue. And then came the moment when the full size of the head protruded from my vulva. That was pretty crazy. It also stung and was simply a very extreme moment. But I had confidence that it would pass. Then, with the next wave, the head was born. When I looked down, I could see the back of her head. Edna was looking backwards in Peter’s direction and we could only hear her sweet noises in front – she was quacking and squeaking like a little bird. Then Edna pushed her left arm outwards, which is why her shoulders were wider than her head, resulting in birth injuries. But I didn’t realise that at the time. All I could think in my head was: Push. We can do this! Hang in there. My child is about to be born! Craaaaaaaaaazy… And whoosh – there it was on the floor

a little creature.

It was 12 noon. I sat back, knelt in front of her and just stared at her face. “Looks like Alex and like Grandad Jörg,” was the only thing I could get out. Vanessa wiped her body with a towel and after a short while she said that my child was a girl. I hadn’t even realised that before. And indeed, our newborn child has a beautiful vulva. It really was a surprise that we had been looking forward to throughout the pregnancy. Someone told me that I could pick her up. So I did and docked her directly onto my breast. Her eyes were wide open and she drank straight away. Alex sat behind me and the three of us cuddled while we waited for the placenta to be delivered. Edna, Alex and I were soon able to move to the mattress that had been prepared in the living room, where we stayed for what felt like a week :)

The whole postnatal period was a wonderful, exhausting, intense and life-changing time. We slept in the living room for over a week. It was nice and warm in our flat, we were naked a lot and enjoyed hardly leaving our birthing cave.

The birth was truly

a celebration of life.

The atmosphere was very pleasant and I am super happy about this relaxed home birth. Edna arrived safely on our planet and hasn’t had any problems so far. My milk is flowing well. Edna has gained weight quickly, the recovery is progressing steadily and despite a perineal tear, a few labia tears and the associated pain and itching, the postpartum discomfort has passed. The first few nights were tough. I had severe headaches and a lot of sore muscles – my

“Full-body mum muscle ache.”

Thanks to lots of loving massages from Alex, my friend Anne and my sister Lulu, that too passed. Susanne, our maternity nurse and mother of 4 children herself, supported us in the household during the first 3 weeks, had good conversations with us about life and prepared delicious meals for us. Our neighbours and some friends also provided us with treats and good music. Fee came to visit us every day for 10 days as a friend – it was an intense time that we really enjoyed. We are very lucky and very grateful that we were able to spend the first few weeks in such a carefree and loving way.

We are now a family, slowly finding ourselves again, but basically everything is and remains pretty crazy. A real adventure! I am very grateful for all the support from dear people. I am also glad that I was brave enough to decide in favour of a home birth. Edna has landed in a cosy and safe nest. We are happy :)

Lea

Well prepared for birth

The evening before I felt the first contractions, we encouraged our daughter – still cosy and protected in my belly – to set off. Whether she heard us or whether we encouraged ourselves with our words, we don’t really know. In any case, our midwives Vanessa and Peter helped to raise our awareness for this moment – we simply felt ready.

As a midwife team, Vanessa and Peter took turns at the prenatal appointments. In addition to the standard check-ups, the discussions about the birth were particularly helpful. As it was our first child, we had no idea what to expect. We still didn’t know until the birth, but the mental preparation allowed me to rely much more on my intuition. Together we also had a rough idea of how my boyfriend could support me during the birth. I am absolutely certain that this support beforehand contributed significantly to the uncomplicated course of the birth. So nothing stood in the way of a self-determined birth.

After I had already felt slight, irregular contractions the day before, the contractions started to get stronger in the morning on Saturday. We went for a walk and now I had to stop and breathe consciously during the “waves”. When we got back home, the waves were coming – every ten minutes. At around 2.30 pm, I called Peter, who was on call that day. He asked how I was feeling and the intensity of the waves and we made arrangements to go to the birthing centre at some point in the evening. We had also discussed in detail in advance when the journey to the birthing centre would take place. We realised that we would spend as much time as possible at home.

That’s what we did: watched series, listened to music and in between we breathed together through the waves. I was slowly getting more restless and wanted to go to the birthing centre. At around 8pm, Peter recommended that I take another shower and check whether the contractions remained regular. The shower felt really good and the waves got stronger. I had to start to tone with them. My boyfriend always reminded me after the contraction to take another deep breath towards the child. That helped me to regain my composure. At around 10.30 pm there was no stopping me: I wanted to go to the birth centre straight away.

As there was another birth at the Maja birth centre, which was attended by Peter, another midwife had to look after us for the time being. Fortunately, Vanessa had agreed to do this, even though she had the day off. We arrived at the birth centre at the same time and while the room was being prepared, I leaned on the changing mat and breathed deeply through the waves. The first examination of the cervix revealed that it was already 9 centimetres open. So we had already done a lot of labour work at home and I was very happy about that. I had instinctively sensed that it wouldn’t be long now. Vanessa asked me to go to the toilet again. Sitting on the toilet, I breathed in a few waves until I stood up and leaned on my boyfriend, who was kneeling in front of me. Suddenly my waters broke with a loud bang. It took a few seconds for us to realise this. The pressure in the pelvis increased considerably. Vanessa now checked the heartbeat more frequently. As the standing position was very tiring in the long run, I changed to the all-fours position and put my arms around my boyfriend’s lap. Vanessa pressed my feet against the floor so that I could let go better and encouraged me to open my pelvis wide at the bottom. Then Vanessa took my hand and guided it to my vagina. I could already feel our baby’s head with my fingers. Although some things are totally blurred in my memory, I remember the music playing in the background. My boyfriend had put on my yoga music. For the last contractions, Peter joined us as a second midwife for the birth. Everything suddenly happened so quickly – and the head was already there. The next contraction was a little while in coming, but then at 1.05 am our baby’s body was born and our little one was immediately placed in front of us. All the effort immediately gave way to indescribable joy.

We first had some time to cuddle up to each other and marvel at this little miracle. Meanwhile, the placenta was born. While tending to the birth injuries, Peter and Vanessa realised that I was a little more torn. They suspected a second-degree perineal tear, which was a little difficult to locate, so they advised me to go to hospital to have the injury stitched up. I trusted them both and was happy to take their advice, even though I would of course have preferred to be treated by Vanessa or Peter. The transfer to the Virchow Clinic went smoothly about three hours after the birth, as the wound was not bleeding. Our daughter and Vanessa accompanied me to the hospital in the ambulance while my boyfriend was already on his way there by taxi. It was very helpful that Vanessa accompanied us and was able to give the doctor detailed information. Fortunately, I was able to be stitched up with a local anaesthetic and so nothing stood in the way of us returning home a little later.

Despite the friendly treatment at the hospital, I am very glad that we were able to experience the birth at the birth centre. At no point did I have the feeling that I was in the wrong place. I also never doubted that I wouldn’t be able to give birth without painkillers. Thanks to the loving and professional support from Vanessa and Peter before and during the birth, I was able to surrender to the situation and trust myself. This is a great gift for which I am deeply grateful to my midwives – but we are even more grateful to be able to welcome a healthy daughter into our little family.

Steffi

A Wednesday in July

It was a Wednesday in July, in the middle of the week and in the middle of the day.

My son sticks his head in the living room door, screws up his face a little and asks: “What’s that?”

“That’s the placenta,” replies my midwife. Do you want to have a look?” “Nah,” says Janosch, and dashes out again. We laugh and are happy about life. About the big – and the small. My youngest daughter Juno Marie is less than an hour old.

24 hours earlier, I’m sitting in our kitchen with my midwife and a student midwife. “Well, the way you look, it’s going to take a while,” he says. I think so too. I’m due date +4, but I don’t really feel like giving birth yet. We make an appointment for the day after tomorrow, for acupuncture. ‘The day after tomorrow is good’, I think. Let’s do acupuncture the day after tomorrow and give birth in the evening. Sounds like a plan.

But plan made without Juno.

I start having contractions at night. It’s my third child, but the first time I’ve gone into labour all by myself. With Janosch I had my waters break prematurely and then no contractions at all for ages. My midwife coaxed my middle daughter Milu out with acupuncture at due date +14. I was always a bit worried that I wouldn’t be able to recognise the contractions so well or that I would confuse them with preterm labour, but my worries were unfounded. Yup, I know them. They are real contractions. No doubt about it. It’s about 4 am and I briefly wake my boyfriend: “Here we go,” I say. “That’s nice!” he replies. Turns over again and goes back to sleep. Wonderful …

I try to go back to sleep, but I’m excited and get up. But I don’t really know what to do with myself … What am I going to do now? Oh, I know what! I get a pile of postpartum pads, put some arnica gel on them, wrap it all in cling film and put it in the freezer. So good for the postnatal period!

Then I call my midwife and say: “I think we’re having a baby today”. He catches a contraction on the phone and says: “Ok, we still have a bit of time. Just keep me up to date. Eat something and get some rest!”

Food. Good idea! I’ll do that. And that’s when the kids wake up: “Mum, mum, mum! I’m hungry and I want a cuddle and mamaaaa, look!”. Phew, phew, phew … contractions gone. I am overwhelmed. Small breakdown. I can’t do this! I can’t do this! My last few months have been really hard, not because of the pregnancy, but privately. I’m afraid that I won’t have enough strength to give birth. And anyway, I wanted to do it the day after tomorrow! The day after tomorrow! Not now!

And painter’s film! Fuck, we don’t even have any painter’s film for the sheet-film-sheet preparation yet! How am I supposed to do all of this without painter’s film?

After my little meltdown, I’m feeling better again. Of course I can do it. But not like this! If this is going to be another birth today, then I need a bit of rest. And painter’s film. So, write a nice postpartum shopping list, kick the kids and dad out! Close the door. Quiet. And now?

I have my two big ones at home too, I’m hardly ever home alone. That’s great! The contractions are also getting stronger again. And now? I’m taking advantage of the hour and … watching the latest episode of “Handmaid’s Tale”. But I already know that I’ll have to watch it again. By now, I have to take a break every five minutes, and then breathe contractions away. But I can still manage.

After the episode, I’m quite well settled in labour, but I’m a bit irritated: I feel the contractions very strongly in my back this time! I’m not used to that from other births. Anyway, let’s get on with it.

Then I’ll call my midwife. I really want him to have a look now. Is it progressing? Are the contractions productive? Is the little one doing well? “All right, I’ll be there in half an hour”, he says. And then he arrives.

Great initial findings! The cervix is already well dilated. The little one is lying with her back against my back, which isn’t quite ideal, but we manage. So, off we go into the all-fours position, bum up nicely and gyrate! Wow! What a relief! It feels really good and takes the pressure off my back. How lucky.

I hadn’t prepared so much for the birth this time, I had done a lot before the first births and now I didn’t really know what else to do. But I watched a lot of spiritual videos, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Oprah. And that helps me now. “The pain comes, the pain goes. The pain comes, the pain goes. But I am not the pain”! That becomes my mantra and it helps so much!

The breaks in labour are like a holiday, so quiet without my two rascals. My midwife is there, but only says something when I say something. So good!

At some point, the painter’s film crew comes back. “So, are there five of us already?” my partner asks as he comes in. Not quite yet. My kids try to talk to me again, but I really don’t have time for that now. Later, sweeties, later again! I tell them that too. And they understand. I’ve prepared them well for the birth, they know. Later, my partner tells me that they grabbed their ‘fish and chocolate book’ and regularly checked how far along the birth was and what was coming next. I only notice that they flit in and out every now and then. Janosch was probably there when the little head was already born. I don’t notice any of this, I’m far too engrossed in my labour.

In between, I have to go to the loo. “I have to go to the loo,” I say, “but I don’t want to get out of my all-fours pose.” Everyone laughs, but I’m completely serious! “Do 2-3 contractions in the loo”, says my midwife, “it’s a really good position!” But no, no! He can breathe away one himself in the loo if he wants to. Certainly not me! I want to go back to my all-fours!

That’s what I do. The contraction comes, the contraction goes. The pain comes, the pain goes. But I’m not the pain! It works well until I slowly lose my patience. Enough is enough! I don’t want any more! I really don’t. I could somehow push too … I say the same thing. “Go on,” says my midwife. In the meantime, the second midwife has arrived and so has the student midwife. Full house. But okay for me. Of course he asked me beforehand if it was ok for me. It’s ok for me.

I personally have a bit of a problem with pushing contractions. I don’t like them. I think it feels like you have to poo a coconut. This pressure! This blatant pressure! But this time I manage to do something: “Let go!” “Open up, let go!”, says my inner voice and lo and behold, it’s still not my favourite thing in the world, it really isn’t, but it’s okay.

And then the miracle happens. The head is born. The little head is born! I’m almost crying (and now I’m crying again)! Hello, my little one! There you are! Hello! I stroke the little head and am already happy. “One more,” I say. “One more!” says the midwife. And there it comes, the one last contraction and with it my wonderful, amazing, magnificent daughter. There you are, my child! My miracle. My gift from heaven.

It was a Wednesday. A Wednesday in July. I’ll call you Juno anyway. My little Juno Marie. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being with us!

Thank you for making our lives a little brighter every day. I love you. So much.

Jule

Birth centre was my plan, but…

Right from the start, it seemed only logical to me to go to a birth centre for the birth of my first child. Firstly, I had never been in hospital myself before and secondly, I think it’s right and wonderful that the pre/post-natal care and birth can be accompanied by one and the same person.

My son was already 11 days past his due date. If I had planned a hospital birth, I probably wouldn’t have had this freedom. The next day, we wanted to give the contractions a boost under supervision, but they came on their own that night. Our midwife advised me to breathe in the contractions at home, in familiar surroundings, for as long as possible. Many hours later, the next afternoon, this no longer seemed possible and we were already expected at the birthing centre. The hours there were very intense for me, Gesche stood by me with a great sense for distance and closeness at the right moments. My partner let me squeeze his hand, I felt well looked after and welcome. I also had enough space to breathe and try things out. Nevertheless, things didn’t really want to progress. The cervix only opened slowly, the baby wasn’t moving enough into the pelvis, the amniotic sac shouldn’t be opened because of a streptococcal infection and I was getting more and more exhausted. After 6 hours of labour in the birth centre, it became clear that I would not be able to avoid a transfer to hospital. Sadness, powerlessness, frustration and the loss of my motivation began to set in. But I relied on my trust in our midwife and indeed: once I was admitted to the delivery room and felt like I was hanging from a thousand tubes with an epidural and a drip, I realised that Gesche had made the absolutely right decision for us. That I wouldn’t have made it without medication. After 6 more hours, our son was born with the help of a great, competent, caring midwife.

In retrospect, I am glad that I was able to get to know both birth centre and the hospital without any hardship and that I was able to rely on the midwife’s expertise and that help was close by at the right time.

Holle

Proud and very grateful

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We gave birth to our sweet daughter at Geburtshaus Maja. When I think about the birth, I am above all proud and very grateful. Grateful that we chose this place to give birth. Grateful for the wonderful care we received from our midwife Gesche before, during and after the birth, as well as for Vanessa’s caring representation and the powerful support during the birth from our second midwife Sandra. I am proud because the birth was very long and exhausting and we all – mum, dad, baby and midwife – held out until the end and we were able to experience a natural birth that I will remember forever. And a very positive one at that, despite the extreme experience and feat of strength.

We went to the birth centre for the first time on Sunday night. I had been having contractions all day, which were still easy to breathe through but were still clearly noticeable. When we arrived at the birth centre, my cervix was only 1.5 cm – I was still in the latency phase. We were allowed to arrive first to see if the contractions would get stronger. But that didn’t happen and so we went home again after 2-3 hours to try and get some more sleep.

At 4 in the morning, the contractions became much more intense and the intervals became shorter at 4 minutes, so that we were back at the birth centre at 5.30 am. So we all had a short night behind us and a long day ahead of us. Once we arrived, we had plenty of room to listen to our feelings and do what was good for us. I was in the bathtub several times, on the exercise ball, in various positions in and around the bed and worked my way from contraction to contraction. Our midwife, Gesche, was always there for us from start to finish with full commitment, patience and positive energy. But she also gave us the space and peace we needed. I found that very pleasant. I didn’t feel left alone and yet I could sense for myself what was good for me. Personally, vocal toning helped me well during labour and I also received support from Gesche and my husband when it became more intense. They toned with me and helped me through some very intense contractions.

It was already around midday and my waters just wouldn’t break, which meant that the birth was progressing slowly. Gesche had lots of ideas and patience to get it to break naturally. However, due to my large pool of amniotic fluid, this didn’t want to happen. As a result, the contractions didn’t get any more intense for the last few centimetres of cervical opening that were still to come and my reserves of strength were getting smaller and smaller. So at some point we decided together to open the sac artificially. It was the right decision for us, because things continued to progress afterwards.

When the cervix was about to open fully, our daughter had not yet decided in which position she wanted to be born. She was in the process of positioning herself as a stargazer. This would have made the expulsion phase a lot more difficult and we were wondering whether we would have to go to hospital. But Gesche’s experience paid off here too and she had lots of ideas on how we could get the little one to turn. With different positions, patience and room for my intuition, we managed it together – our daughter turned! We were all overjoyed, because there was no way I wanted to go back to the clinic after many hours of work. Perhaps this absolute determination to give birth to our baby in the birthing centre also contributed to her moving into a better position. Now the contractions could come and the goal was close.

The pushing labour then lasted another 2.5 hours. Here, too, I had plenty of space and room to see which positions were good for me and I was also given suggestions as to what I could try. I thought it was a very nice idea that a mirror was placed in front of me. So I could see directly how the little head moved out cm by cm and I knew that the pushing was having an effect. What an incredible experience! I can still remember exactly how the first hairs of her magnificent head of hair appeared. Thanks to the mirror, I now have a real film of the birth of our daughter in my head – a great memory! Gesche also helped me a lot during the contractions by applying gentle pressure to show me which way to push. That was very, very helpful. Gesche and Sandra – the second midwife who joined us at the end – also had lots of motivating words at the ready, which really helped me through the last few hours of labour.

Our daughter’s heartbeat was checked regularly and was always great. We never had to worry about her health and were able to give my body the time it needed to stretch during the contractions. Fortunately, I was spared a ruptured perineum.

My final birthing position was on the bed, leaning against my husband, the mirror in front of us. We were both able to see the birth of our daughter and will probably never forget these images.

In the end, we were able to hold our healthy daughter in our arms and were just incredibly grateful and happy! About 13 hours had passed since we arrived at the birth centre in the morning.

I am sure that the birth would have been very different in a different place. At Geburtshaus Maja we were given a lot of support, space and time to give birth to our daughter naturally. We would make the same decision again at any time and are very grateful to the team at the birth centre.

J.

Great work by midwives

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I was a first-time mother at the birth centre. Everything was new and unknown. There were three things that made a big impression on me at the birth centre: the time for your needs, the peace and quiet to “wind down” and the serenity that everything would be fine. The great work of the midwives, who constantly educated me and showed me new things and were always ready for an open discussion. Thank you. It was a wonderful experience to give birth to my own child in this place.

Rahel

Hurrah for midwives and birth centres

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Dear friends of maternity trousers, are you having a baby? That’s a hit par excellence! Hip hip hooray, put your hands up and shout “here” if you can catch the next midwife from a birth centre: because a spot there is the jackpot for you and your little appleseed. Still unsure? “Ahhh, birth centre, I don’t know, mhhh, nah, maybe I’d prefer the sterile hospital with the reassuring beeping machines, something could go wrong and all that…” I get it! I didn’t even know – before my nephew was born – that birth centres even existed (which is a shame, as it only reflects the fact that there is far too little publicity about this topic, which would, however, be urgently justified. So now a little gust from my side).

So if you have no idea what a birth centre is, then PLEASE GO! Have a look, have everything shown and explained to you and afterwards you will either be completely convinced or you will simply be one experience richer and perhaps feel more comfortable with the decision to give birth in hospital, in a taxi or in the woods. All perfectly OK as long as you feel comfortable with it. But if you experience the same warmth on your first visit to the birth centre as I did, then you will know immediately: How lovely, my child will arrive with us in this quiet, warm, cosy room with candlelight and music (if desired) instead of in a brightly lit, in the worst case overcrowded, noisy and hectic delivery room. Then it will be with us, lying on top of us, we will have all the time in the world to understand what has just happened. And the whole time, my midwife, who looked after me wonderfully throughout the pregnancy and patiently explained everything I wanted to know (even four times in a row when the pregnancy dementia was up to mischief again) and was always there for me, will not leave my side until everything is over together. Unless she has to go to the loo. But then there’s always a second lovely midwife who rushes over to hold your hand, massage your bump or cool your forehead. If you are very lucky, you will even be asked in advance whether student midwives are allowed to attend the labour. Then definitely shout “here” again, because it is wonderful to be supported by such lovely people who are only concerned that mother and child are doing well during the birth, and in such a discreet and unobtrusive way. Midwives are very special people. It is extremely important that the relationship between you and your midwife is right. That’s why you attend a few appointments during your pregnancy to get to know each other and you have the opportunity to get to know another midwife if things don’t go so well.

Everything is great at the birth centre. The people are fantastic, both professionally and personally. The rooms are great, the beds are great, the tubs are great. The whole atmosphere is just great. I gave birth to both my children in birth centres (in two different ones due to our move) and would recommend every mum to give the birth centre a chance. Have a look at it, get to know the midwives and the facilities and then decide according to your gut feeling. You have to feel comfortable with the decision!

And please don’t let those around you make you feel insecure. Unfortunately, very few people really know what a birth centre is and how strict the requirements are to be allowed to give birth there. That’s why you often unnecessarily encounter alarming, unsettling and often very stupid comments when you talk about your birth centre plans. Don’t let this spoil it for you. You will experience your birth as something wonderful all round.

I’m not esoteric, spiritual, a greenie or globules fanatic (although maybe a bit green, like buying organic products-green), but I felt like on clouds. The girls there really know what they’re doing and the attention and help they give you during pre- and postnatal care and the birth is something money can’t buy. And the best thing of all: after the birth, you grab your little bundle and trudge home on wobbly legs, proud as punch, to your postnatal bed. Your midwife will come round every day to check that you and your baby are doing well and it will be the best time of your life. And I say that with conviction, even though I had three breast infections and considerable breastfeeding problems after my first birth. With the help, support and expertise of my midwives, I learnt to deal with every difficulty and not give up straight away.

Kudos to all midwives and birth centres! Especially thank you Sabine and Sandra for your endless patience with me and for making me feel like I was in a place that was almost more beautiful than home.

Luzie

A completely natural way

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When it came to choosing a place to give birth to our first child, my boyfriend and I quickly had the feeling that a birth centre would suit us and our needs. Due to its size, the warm interior, the familiar atmosphere and the friendly staff, we really liked Geburtshaus Maja right from the start. Our midwife looked after us during the pregnancy and so we had time to get to know each other. It was good for me that we always met at the birth centre so that I was already familiar with the surroundings. The care I received always reinforced my feeling that giving birth to a little person is a completely natural process. It also gave me great confidence in myself, which was very valuable for me before and during the birth. When the time came, we travelled to the birth centre at night with a feeling of security and returned home the next morning with our little son in our arms.

Steffi